I feel like this last week has gone by so slow! The concerto competition was only this last Tuesday? No way! I feel like it was a month ago.... It's the fourth of December? How did this happen?
I have no idea.
I am honestly exhausted. Physically and emotionally. This has been one of the longest weeks of the school year, at least to me. Last night I got to "talk" to Maamaa. I did all the talking and got to listen to her breathing/snoring. It was hard to do, but I do not regret it. At all. When I was done, however, Mom asked if I wanted to say good bye, and I said, very teary-eyed, "That's what I was trying to avoid!" It was another long night, so today, when I was sitting outside Prof. Thompson's office, waiting for my lesson, I was falling asleep on the pillow I made out of my coat.
However, this lesson was one of the most embarrassing, at least in my opinion. When playing through my concerto with my accompanist, I completely forgot a segment and it messed me. I started shaking and I didn't ever get back to normal. Now, because Prof. Thompson knew what was going on with Maamaa and the strain it had (has) on me, I think he understood why I was messing up. But it shook me so much that I was getting to the place where I couldn't function.
It got so bad in the next three to five minutes that I thought I was gonna throw up. Right there. In his office. In front of him. And I was not okay with that thought. So I left to get a drink of water and step outside of a minute. Immediately I felt about five times better, even though I still didn't feel totally fine.
When I returned to his office, Prof. Thompson looked at me out of concern. "Are you okay?"
"No," I answered honestly, putting my cold hand back on my still flushed forehead. "I suddenly felt really sick..."
"Oh...well do you want to stop? Do you need to stop?" He checked his watch.
"No! I need help with my Kreutzer!"
"Oh, okay...then let's do Kreutzer!"
After that I felt quite a bit better. My goal tonight is to go to sleep early and sleep for at least eight hours, if not more. All I need is sleep...that's all I need, because I know that this week is going to be hard to get through.