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Monday, April 15, 2013

Blessings

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

This chorus by Laura Story is pretty much my life right now. Mom called me a little while ago to tell me that the man in jail for the robbery got a new attorney.  Because he has a new attorney, the judge granted a continuance.  That means the trial isn't happening right before May term.  I know that this is a blessing of sorts.  But it means that this hell lives on.

I'm just about to crack with this.  He pleaded guilty!!  What does he want??  What is he looking for? I don't understand.  What could he possibly hope to gain from postponing the trial more and more? Does he hope that my testimony will be less valid the farther away the trial gets from the actual event?  

I want this to be over...done.  I want to get up, give my speech, and walk away, finally freed.  I have this belief that once this trial is done, my elbow will hurt no more.  The pain is more attached to fear than anything else...that is my strong belief.

But now...who knows when this trial will be?  God does.  

Trust in God...that's all I have right now.  All I have to cling to.  I have this bad habit of waiting to cling to God until that's my only option.  It's not the best way to live, I admit that.  But more than ever, I am calling out to God to hold me.  I need the arms of my Heavenly Father to comfort me and give me peace and whisper in my ear, "I am here."

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