Follow by Email

Monday, December 14, 2015

Love Letters Are More Than Slips of Paper

I haven't written very many love letters. It's something I've always wanted to do but now that I'm dating, I find that I don't know what to say. It's a process.

But love letters are so much more than mushy, elegant words printed cleanly on that perfect paper. It's all about the meaning behind the words. They aren't always meant for proclamations of romantic love. It's not a single definition concept.

I wrote a love letter about a month ago in the form of a song. It's one of my coping mechanisms. It's one of the ways I grieve.

I know some of you might wonder why I still grieve over Dallas's mom's death. I hadn't spent a lot of time with her and she wasn't even my mom yet. I still have my wonderful Mommy who is very much alive and well.

I still grieve because I am constantly reminded of the relationship I will never be able to have with her. I grieve because of the hurt her friends and family still and always will feel, even if it dulls after a while. I grieve because that is the best way I can show her my respect. That doesn't mean I sit in solemn weeping constantly. But I respect her by grieving through remembering what I know of her and loving her family in their time of need.

And occasionally shedding a few tears as well.

So, I wrote her a love letter in the form of a song. I know she can hear it in heaven. (Yes, I know this is something parents tell their little kids to make them feel better. I can be a little kid sometimes still.)


Did you think that I was pleasant; that I had a nice smile?
Did you that I could hold my own even when life got wild?
Would you laugh with me for hours on end until we couldn't breathe?

Did you think that I was honest; that I would keep my word?
Did you think that I'd stay by his side no matter what I heard?
Did you think that I'd still hold his hand even when life got hard?

So I promise to take care of him even when my strength is gone.
And I promise to love him even when the days get long
And I promise to prove to you I'll support him faithfully. 
Until the next time I see you...

You'll have your own wings. You'll shine and you'll smile and you'll laugh for a while.
You won't be in pain. Your soul is at home and you won't be alone.
You'll take me on the royal tour, pulling me along. 
I'll tell you all about our life that you've watched from afar.
And then I'll come in close for the hug we've both been waiting for.
And maybe then I'll hear you say, "My daughter, welcome home."

Did you think I'd make him happy; that I could make him whole?
Did you think that I'd be good for him, that I could mend his soul?
Did you think that I would make you proud to call me family?

So I promise to take care of him even when my strength is gone.
And I promise to love him even when the days get long
And I promise to prove to you I'll support him faithfully. 
Until the next time I see you...

You'll have your own wings. You'll shine and you'll smile and you'll laugh for a while.
You won't be in pain. Your soul is at home and you won't be alone.
You'll take me on the royal tour, pulling me along. 
I'll tell you all about our life that you've watched from afar.
And then I'll come in close for the hug we've both been waiting for.
And maybe then I'll hear you say, "My daughter, welcome home."

This pain inside my heart will never go away.
It may only dull with time but the emptiness remains.
These questions they'll always burn deep inside my mind;
Not knowing what you'd say if you could only reply.
I never thought I'd lose you. I never thought I'd miss you.
I never thought I'd need you like I do.

So I promise to take care of him even when my strength is gone.
And I promise to love him even when the days get long
Mom, I promise to prove to you I'll support him faithfully. 
Until the next time I see you...

You'll have your own wings. You'll shine and you'll smile and you'll laugh for a while.
You won't be in pain. Your soul is at home and you won't be alone.
You'll take me on the royal tour, pulling me along. 
I'll tell you all about our life that you've watched from afar.
And then I'll come in close for the hug we've both been waiting for.
And maybe then I'll hear you say...

"You have your own wings. You shine from your smile, so stay and laugh for a while.
You have no more pain. You're finally home and you'll never be alone.
I'll take you on the royal tour, pulling you along.
You'll tell me all about your life I have watched from afar.
And then I'll pull you close for the hug that I've been longing for.
And then I'll finally get to say, 'My daughter, welcome home.'"

No comments:

Post a Comment