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Friday, October 23, 2015

Sealed with Love

Dear "Mom",

No, your son and I aren't engaged or married yet, but I wanted to call you Mom, just once. The morning you passed from this world, we all lost someone. A mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a coworker, an inspiration. You changed so many lives and so many worlds that it brings a tearful smile to my face. Well done, good and faithful servant. :)

In the moment, I was so caught up in wanting to make sure your son was okay that it didn't even cross my mind what I had lost that morning. One day, you were going to watch Dallas and I get married and I would get to look you in the eyes and proudly proclaim you were my mom too.

I lost my mother-in-law that Saturday morning.

I lost the chance to watch you and Dallas have your mother-son dance at our wedding. We'll never get to surprise you when we announce we're going to have our first child. I'll never get to hand our first baby to you and watch your reaction. Not that I was planning to, but I'll never get to "dread dinner with the mother-in-law". I'll never get to ask you for advice on living with your son when we get married or ask for your advice when the going gets tough.

There are so many memories we cannot have.

But I promise, that I will take care of your son. I promise that we will raise our kids to remember you and to have a little bit of you in them. (They have to be goofy to survive this world!) I promise that I will celebrate who you have been said to be. I will listen to the stories about your life and remember them.

I promise I will try to be a daughter-in-law you can be proud of. I promise I will strive every day to be good for your son. He loves you very much. Although I know you know that.

Thank you for taking such good care of Dallas. Thank you for being the wonderfully supportive person I've heard you to be. I hope to be half the woman that you were when I grow up.

Save a spot for me next to the banquet table, so we can catch up when I join you in heaven, whenever God decides that is.

I love you Mom. I hope you know that, even though I never got to tell you.

Love,

Angelica

Monday, October 5, 2015

Joy Sprouts from Tragedy

Amidst the tragedy of the Oregon community college shooting, I can praise God. No, this was not a pleasant or positive event by any means or anything superficially happy. Yet, I can still praise God for His grace. For His power. For His love. For His work.

I could be angry for such blatant persecution to happen "on our soil, on American soil". I could shake my fist at God asking Him why he brought something so horrible to our country. I could be furious that someone could be so overcome by hate for someone of another faith that they would be driven to kill specific people just because of their God.

Or I could praise God for the bravery and faith of the individuals.

Those who died are modern martyrs. They understood what their faith meant; they understood taking up their cross and sacrificing their plans for the perfect plans of the Father. They looked death straight in the eyes and still were willing to proclaim their faith.

This is the kind of Christian I have been called to be, and the kind I long to be. The kind I need to be.

When I signed up to be a Christian, I signed up to have no rights. I gave up my rights when I surrendered my life to Jesus. I signed up to follow Jesus no matter the cost. No matter the cost.

That's what the students in Oregon  were willing to do. They were going to follow Jesus until death. And that is what they did. For that, I can praise God. He brought many true disciples into His kingdom last week, and even though they were taken from us in such a horrific way, they ultimately won because they got to see their King.

My heart weeps for their families, but I pray they find the joy in the end of the grace of the Father.